난 내인생이 너무나 싫다. 아니, 내 일이 너무나 싫다. 내 매니저들은 날 너무나 무시한다. 이런건 너무하다고 생간한다. 언젠간 내가 필요할때 난 그들에게 무시할꺼다. 왜냐? 난 한국인이나까, 그리고 난 싸가지 없으니까! 나의 인생에서 문제는 나보다 나이 많은 사람들이 날 조죵할려고 하는거다. 난, 진짜로, 모든지 잘한다고 생각한다. 왜냐면 난 한다면 하니까! 뭐 이것이 내인생이지... 슽픔과 고통... 아무턴 난 이젠 팬픽은 쓰기 시작할꺼다. 왜냐면 난 할것이 없으니까. 으하하하하하하.. 아무턴 난 이제 일을 하고 공부를 해야된다. 공부하야되만, 하기가 싫다.
진짜루, 진짜루, 피곤하다. 사는것이 피곤 한것인지... 그냥 몸이 피곤한건지... 한숨만 나온다. 지금 한글로 쓰는 이유는 아무도 이 글을 읽지 않았으면 해서다... 지금 글을쓸려구 하는데, 아이디어가 않와서 답답하다... 요즘은 사는것이 너무 힘이들고, 집에서는 외로워 죽겠다. 뭐, 진짜 너무하다구 생각하지만, 뭐, 그것이 인생이지..
지금 서부터 글을 시작 할려구 노력하구 있다. 쓰구 싶은 내용은 만지만, 쓰기는 너무 힘이 든다.. 아무턴, 난 글을 쓰러구 간다. 빠이.
Right now I feels like a crap. I personally don't want to write down so everyone will read them. I hate what I am feeling right now. I feel like a crap.... I think my PMS is giving me other depression.
Right now I am bored to death... For some reason I want to make a community, but unsure if I could make something that people would come and look.
Well, I am thinking about writing a fanfic. I don't what, but I am dying to write one. hehehe... or maybe just original fiction. I watched small clips of Brad Pitt's movie. It was about Vampire and there was some yaoi moment...... it was happiest moment of my life....
I got a good idea from that story, but unsure if I am going to work on it... I am bored to death, as usual. I got a good paring that I want to read! From movie Troy, and paring is Achilles/Hector. They are both hot! I think actors were Brad Pitt and Eric, but forgot the last name. It is hard to find any good paring of them. Maybe I should make a community about it and make some random fanfic! Yeah!
wait... I have horrible grammar and there is no way I could write a good fanfic that sounds like ancient ... um... way? I don't know. I should wait and make one... ^__^
I am done now, and wish my friends would check my livejoural.
재(Jae)중(Joong)... 나에게는 멋있는 로맨틱한 왕자님이시다... 그는 1986년 1월 26일에 태어났고, 지금 만 21살이시다. 한글을 않쓴지 벌서 칠년이됬다. 내가 한국에있었을때만해도 한글을 문제가 아니었는데... ㅠ.ㅠ.. 하지만 이젠 모든것이 힘이든다. 이런때 난 왜 미국에 왔을까, 아니면 왜 한국인일까 라구 생각한다. 차라리 한국인이었쓰면 모든것이 이럿게 힘이들지 않았을땐데... 미국에서 살면는 힘이들어서 죽구싶을때가 많다. 하지만 그순간에 질수없기때문에 억지루 숨을 쉬면서 살구있다... 학교인생두, 집인생두... 무두 지옥갇을때가 많다. 차라리 태어나지 말걸... 난 미국에 처음으로 살아야될때 나의 자신이 싫어졌다. 처음에 왔을때 난 하나밖에 없는 한국인이었쓰니까... 난 혼자있었기때문이다. 말두몼하구,알아듣지도 못하구... 난 나의 이름을 미국글짜로도 쓸수없었다. 이런난 여기서 혼자 나의 찾구 해맸다. 난 누굴까? 난 정채가 몰까? 내가 뭘댈수있을까? 인생에 사라오지 못한 나는 이런것들을 물어봤다. 일년이 지나구 나니까 이년이오구... 다행스럽게두 미국어는 늘어났다. 하지만 나의 한국어의 시력은 줄어드렸지만. 난 시간이 지날수록 나의 자신이 싫어저가구 나의 미둠이 사라지구 맗았다. 결국 난 세상에서 나의 자신이 싫어지구 만것이다. 나의 살껄, 나의 목소리... 나의 행동. 난 나을 만들어주는 행동이 싫었다... 이런생각때문에 난 혼자 살아왔다. 진정한 친구도 없이... 그리구 내가 중2때 하나밖게도 없는 보석갇은 친구을 만났다. 야스맨과 크리스토을. 이름을 보면 한국인이 아니라는것을 알겄이다. 야스맨은 나의 성격과 자신을 밎게해주고, 크리스토는 날 외로해주는 친구들이었다. 이처럼 따뜬한 기분은 오랜만에 다시 느끼구 말았다. 세상에서 이럿게 행복할주는 몰랐다. 그러게 사이좋게 지내다가 중3때 한국친구을 만났다. 난 왠만 해서는 한국친구가 싫었다. 왜냐? 한국친구들은 날 배신했으니까. 이용하구 버리구... 하지만 중3때 만난친구는 다이몬드보다 더비싸구 아름다운 친구이었다. 아지두 그녀는 나의 소중한 친구로 남아있다. 이럿게해서 행복했는데... 고1때 소중한 한국친구는 일본에 가게됬다. 마음은 쐬보다 더 녹슬구, 폭포보다 눈에 물을 흘렸다. 그리구 지진보다 더 굴르면서 울었다. 태어난 아기처럼... 그러자 고1일 다 끝이나구 하니까 야스맨이 떠난다구했다. 다른 주에서 살아야된다구... 이슬픔은 아무도 몰른다. 난 그얘을 5학년부터 알았으니까... 중2때 다시만나 친해진 사이니까.난 너무나 슬프고 마음이 찌저지는 기분이었다. 다행이두 야스맨은 안떠나게 됬지만 난 떠날지도 몰른다... 지겨워... 아무턴 그러다가 김재중의 노래을 듣구, 동방신기을 찾았다. 그자을 사랑하는것 같다.. 다시 한글배우게까지 나의 마음을 흔치구 말았다. 재중이오빠.. 사랑해!
I am right now trying to do my homework, but noooo................. The god does really hate me, if there is god. Yes, I questioned the exsitence of god, yay. I am damn proud of myself.
oh my god..... I starting to sound like him, I need to stop this!!!
Anyway, I can't think of what to do with my project, and my teacher decided to give us the project the last day before springbreak. Add things up, he wants the class to turn it in the day we come back! ^_______^ Bless us. Now I have three day to finish, even though i don't know what to do at all. Top this off, I am having sleepover tomorrow so me and my friend can study for Pre cal. Then Sunday, this is kicker, my aunt's birthday! What a wonderful monment of my life.^__^
I just love this song. I dunno why. Maybe because I feel that way too. Just that I don't get abused by anyone... Well, that would be lie. hahaha....um... Well, also I kida feel sad, cause it could actually happen. World is sad, and sometime I wish the world is more happy, more like Happy 70's family TV show where family looks perfect... Than again, if it was... Life would be boreding and nothing fun would happen.
I am right now doing my homework. I am planning to start my stories soon. I hope I could finish the story by end of this week. So many homework. I hate it. Anyway, as soon as my life get better, I am going to post the story up. ^__^
What's up??? Right now I am doing perfectly fine. ^__^ I am bored to death, as ya all can see. I am working on a fanfic and original stories, which I am going to post them here. Unsure when, because I have hard time getting the stories typed.... But don't worry yo, cause I am going to write them... even if it will kill me someday.
It is almost chirstmas. ^__^ I really want that vocation right now. I cannot handle school any longer. I need some long, long sleep. I personaly don't care for gifts... I would be lying if I said I don't want them, but I usualy feel guilty and sad that I cannot give something for others. I perfer when I can give something to someone, cause it makes me feel much better. I am much giving, loving person.
I am not sure what I am planning to give my family, but I better go buy something. (I wish I was rich...) For my friends, I just by them cookies and candies.
Right now I am hanging out at my brother's room, cause I want to watch the Korean show, and he download it for me.:)
I am planning to write the PWP for one of my friends. I wish I can write them soon as I can. I am not sure it could be good as my friends want it to be. She better like it though... :I
Hope that stupid school days will be over soon and finish this week's homework too.
Today is ThanksGiving day. ^__^ Yay, thanksgiving, even though I really think that it shouldn't be celebrated it... well, at least I had great food! Even if I am in diet and cannot eat too much... T.T >_<...
I did nothing and it was bording... I am working on CSI fanfic, but not sure when I can finish them... Today is not much of a day...
Today was kind of fun day, I guess. I was called by office today and I was freaking out like a baby. I couldn't believe how I react. Teacher noticed that I was freaking out by my face. wow... I guess I am nervous freak. That's not really good at all actually.
I emailed my friend, but she is taking long time to reply. She never actually reply unless it is something important or if I begged her to reply. That's kind a sad.
I got new ideas for fanfics and original stories for myself and post in Livejournal. I hope that I can post anything soon, because I am soon, yay, going to make my own community! I can't wait! Of course I asked my parents more paying for livejournal. I wanted more better stuff. Beside, it is not like I ask my parents for anything. Actually I didn't really ask them to pay, it was more like it came out from my money, but you will use your credit card. Hard to explain. I am happy, and hope that my end of the day turn out good,
Tomorrow is my friends bDAy, and going to her house to celebrate! I hope that it would be fun and have some crazy night! I am planning to scare Yasmo's butt off... ... I shoudn't type that. hehehe.
Right now I am done with my actual homework and left over with reading guide. I really hate them... But I have to finish them by next tuseday.
Well, that's that. I don't know what to write. Except that I have crush on this boy, and it kinda creep me out. I am not lovly crushly girl. I am proud Tomie boy.
I hope after this week, I have time for writting fanfics and stories. I want to have future of writter and other stuff involve. ^__^ :) well, that's that, bye now.
Right now I am at my room, hoping that some how I get my life move on. I dunno why, today is not really my day all. I really, really hate Sunday, even if I have day off tomorrow. I just don't like sunday at all.
Right now I am sitting on my bed, trying to do something, but nothing really come up to do anything. My friends are some where and doing something unlike me. I really wonder why I came to this country, I mean I could have done much better at where i came from. At least I can go somewhere without asking my parents to drop me off.
As I am getting mad, I am bored as well. Today there was nothing to see, and nothing to do. None of my friends called, and my family ate something that I am dying to eat. I am in the diet people, and of all that, my family should support me! I am mad. I wish that I could no longer live....
I hate boys!... Well, I do love them, but they are one crazy mean hateful creatures... They... they are... I duuno what I am saying, but I am upset... Someone asked me out, but I feel like he only asked me because he wanted to make fun of me... T.T I wish that I don't have those feelings and let other close to me... I hate this feeling.
Well, I just found really good Pirate of the Carribean, even if it might be not the greatest grammar, I mean mine is bad too. Please read them if you like Non-con and other thing... Warning: Non-con, drug, whore... other things that can be warning, but people love them for some reason... Paring: OMC X James, mainly Jack X James, or Springton. A New Perspective
current mood: Just wanted to do that... current music: ... unsure
This is week has been not my day. Now today is really not my day. I feel sick and I don't feel like doing anything. The only thing I want to do is sleep and well, sleep. I have so much homework and studying to do.... T.T
I also got mad with my friends, that is one thing I hate about getting mad, I don't get to talk with them. I am mad, but still... They are my friends... Everything gives me headaches and now I feel like trying to kill myself, again... -.-...
I guess tomorrow has to be better, or else I probably going yell and maybe kill someone. (like hell I will.) I hate school. I can't wait until I get out... Than agian.... well.. I am bored and homework to be done....
current mood: depressed current music: ? Dunno what it call
DOUJINSHI FANDOM: naruto CHARACTERS: kakashi, iruka, ausma, and etc... PARING: kakashixiruka RATING: K... (there is nothing much there...) SUMMARY: Kakashi trying to say 'sorry'... (not really a good summary, but there...
Too much homework and test to study... I hate them, I hate them all!!!! But sadly I can't do anything about that....
I stay late so I can finish my work and now I am home, studying for the test... Well, now I wanna just rest... But still, so manything to do... I hate my life... I wanna be a baby again.. T.T
current mood: busy current music: Moment like this
Should I post this or not? This is yaoi manga, and yes.... it is NC-17.... ///0.0/// (Blush) This is about the kid moved into his brother's friend house, and fall in love with the bro's friend. Which it is weird, because bro's friend is love with the bro. And later on, he fall in for bro's brother... Sorry if it is hard to understand... I really don't remember the name... hehehe?
current mood: tired current music: Some Korean Song
Title: Fighting to the top Fandom: None Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Slash/yaoi, sex and well… sex… also some bad grammar with spelling... Summary: Two partner/ business man fighting to the top. -Just to let you know, I never ever had a sex...-
Yay! This is my second entries... Wow... I been here for while and never post anything until my first day when I sign up. That's depressing. I guess I decided that I should do something here. I really don't like using MYSPACE. I really don't why people enjoy there. I see nothing... well, that's their point of view... Now that I been here for really, really long time, I decided that I should do more stuff here. I love here, I find all kind of fanfics and drawings. I love it! ^____^ Now on, you will find more stuff like fanfic, sometime original, and fan-pic. I do not have scanner, but I probably get one soon. ^__^ Yay, long live the livejournal..... (That was lame...T.T)
I just sign in to livejournal about few days ago, and I have no idea what to write... So I'm just writing something about... something... I like Naruto, and anyone know how it going to end??? In America, it takes forever to finish the some anime show... In Asia it only took about a month. But than again, anime did come from Asia... My brother is so in to Naruto that he found the website where he could watch Naruto for free... Right now he is about ep. 135, or something... He told me that Sasuke might die and Naruto going to run away... Not sure I can believe him, because he is big fat lier...(only to me) So anyone who can know how Naruto going to end, please tell me.
Other than that, I have nothing to say... By the way if my grammar is bad, please forgive me... I came to this country not so long ago... So my English is my the best... So do not say anything mean about my grammar, because I am working on it....
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hotguys_freak's journal
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